Starter Information

Recommended Websites

NJ Dept of Education: Homeschooling Frequently Asked Questions
http://www.state.nj.us/njded/genfo/overview/faq_homeschool.htm

Homeschool Legal Defense Association: Homeschooling in New Jersey; laws, legislation, resources and more.
http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp?State=NJ

You Can Homeschool
http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/default.asp?bhcp=1 

Getting Started with Homeschooling
http://www.enochnj.org/pagegen.cgi?opcode=start

Recommended Reading

Choosing to homeschool your child is an important decision and a big commitment for the entire family. As parents plan for their first year, they often feel overwhelmed by the decisions that need to be made concerning curriculum and schedule. The best preparation for homeschooling is to read some basic books on the subject. These books will help you understand the steps necessary to make your transition into homeschooling easier and give you the knowledge and confidence you need.

Read a few of these books and carefully consider the advice of these experienced homeschooling parents and authors before you buy your curriculum or begin your schooling schedule. It will be helpful for you to have a clear picture of your goals and strategy, even if that means you begin your schooling year a month "late." By doing this, you will save your family money, time and possibly several headaches in the end!
Remember, you taught your child everything he or she needed to know up to age five. Together you and your child can take the next steps in learning. May God bless you as you learn and grow together as a family! Here are some books we recommend:

The Three R's - Grade K-3, by Ruth Beechick. This is a set of three manuals sold in a package. They give practical instruction to parents on teaching arithmetic, reading, and language to their K-3rd grade children.

You Can Teach Your Child Successfully, by Ruth Beechick.
Many of us do not have a clearly defined philosophy of education. Even when we do, we compare our tiny homeschools to the grand system and begin to doubt ourselves and our educational goals for our children. In clear and uncluttered prose, Dr. Beechick discusses reading comprehension, math skills, the mechanics of writing, and approaches to spelling and grammar. It is most helpful for parents of children in grades 4-8.

The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling, by Debra Bell.
Witty, wise and experienced, the author sets forth a compelling vision for joys of home-based learning and the essential tools for success. Topics include: 6 ingredients of a successful homeschool; 10 ways to motivate the reluctant learner; creative solutions to burnout, budgets, toddlers, and time; homeschooling through high school, and much, much more.

Home Improvement: 8 Tools for Effective Parenting, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN
Written by two homeschooling parents, this book gives you foundational principles for family life. Learn how to help children change their hearts, not just their behavior. Discover ways to make discipline times constructive and positive so you can correct your children without sacrificing the closeness in your relationship. This book also offers a plan to equip children to manage their emotions and respond well to frustration and anger…Eight tools in all to give you a practical homeschooling toolbox. Available at www.biblicalparenting.org or by calling the National Center for Biblical Parenting at 609.771.8002.

Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN
Anger has the potential to create pain and damage relationships, but this God-given emotion can become your ally when you understand it. Turansky and Miller have identified seven common triggers in family life and then give you a constructive plan to build long-lasting character in your children. Learn how to give instructions in a way that builds responsibility. Understand ways to develop a love for honest and integrity in a child who lies. This book even offers practical ways to teach self-control and sensitivity to others so that children can be a real blessing to others. Available at www.biblicalparenting.org or by calling the National Center for Biblical Parenting at 609.771.8002.

Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...In You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN
Relationships are key to your homeschool. Using the value of honor, this practical guidebook will provide you with ideas of how to change the way your family relates. You will discover five honor-based parenting skills, three roadblocks to sibling harmony, and six ways to teach honor to children. This book is written by two homeschool families and will help you deal with the common problems of arguing, bickering, whining, complaining, badgering, and bad attitudes. Available at www.biblicalparenting.org or by calling the National Center for Biblical Parenting at 609.771.8002.

For the Children's Sake, by Susan Schaffer McCaully.
The author introduces the readers to the sensible, life-enriching educational perspective formulated by turn-of-the-century British educator Charlotte Mason. This book gives you a Christian philosophy of education that touches upon all aspects of living and learning.

Better Late Than Early, by Raymond and Dorothy Moore.
Early schooling may not be the answer in terms of education. Moore offers a wealth of evidence from a variety of sources that this, may in fact, be harmful and offers a new approach to your child's education. Other books by the Moores include Home Style Teaching and Home Spun Schools.

Beyond Survival - A Guide to Abundant Life Homeschooling, by Diana Waring.
This book tells the story of one family's journey through homeschooling. Filled with motivational stories and analogies of the homeschool experience you will find this book a great motivator.

A Survivor's Guide to Home Schooling, by Luanne Schackelford and Susan White.
Home schooling may be one of the most important and rapidly growing social movements of the day, but that doesn't get the laundry done for home teaching moms! Here is the help that millions of homeschoolers have been waiting for. Written by two home teaching moms, this book answers the questions homeschoolers are asking like, How can I prevent burnout? What do I do with my preschoolers while I teach? What if my child isn't getting it? How can my husband help?

The Big Book of Home Learning. Vol. 1 Getting Started, by Mary Pride.
This book is a classic, giving many helpful insights into the resources that are available. The homeschooling family that is looking for answers will find them in Mary Pride's book.

100 Top Picks For Homeschool Curriculum, by Cathy Duffy.
The key to successful home education, homeschool veterans will tell you, is determining your educational philosophy and marrying it to your child’s learning style. Then you can make an informed decision in choosing the right educational curriculum for the child. This is the formula for success. In 100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum, homeschool guru Cathy Duffy can help you accomplish these critical tasks. Cathy will give you her top choices from every subject area, approaching everything through a Christian worldview perspective. This book is a critical volume for the homeschooling community. http://broadmanholman.com/category.asp?page=educationalresourcescat

Where Do I Get These Books?

To obtain any of these books, check with your local Christian Bookstore or call Christian Books, a wholesale distributor with a special section on homeschooling. You may order a Christian Books catalog and get on their mailing list by calling 1-800-Christian or www.Christianbooks.com. The Mercer County Library System also has some of these books available.

Social Development and the Homeschooled Child

By Dr. Scott Turansky
for the Homeschoolers Support Network

The most often asked question about homeschooling is, "But what about the child's social life?" Many people imagine a child at home all day in a bedroom or at the kitchen table studying books with little or no outside interaction except to greet the mailman or the paperboy. Even if the child is out with others, the questions about socialization continue, usually because of a lack of understanding about socialization itself or because of a lack of understanding about homeschooling. In part this article is written to challenge the assumptions about socialization but also to more adequately inform others about what really takes place in the typical homeschool.

Socialization is important to a child's growth and development. Having all the education one might muster can't overcome weaknesses in the ability to relate to others. On the other hand, good social skills can do a lot to overcome academic struggles when it comes to obtaining a job or being a productive adult in society.

Socialization is the ability to relate well to other people. It includes skills like greeting others, showing honor and respect to others, listening, carrying on a conversation, being able to recognize and decode verbal and nonverbal cues, being able to empathize with others and being able to address conflict in a productive way. All children, as well as adults, need these skills and the wise parent will help children obtain them.

A Challenge of the Assumptions

Many people believe that peer interaction is the best way for children to obtain the social skills they need. It is assumed that by putting children together in groups with others their same age that social skills are developed. Now, it is true that social skills are developed in that environment but are they the skills you want for your children?

Anyone who watches school bus socialization or cafeteria interaction or children on a playground begins to question the kinds of social skills which are being learned. These children are left to learn from each other appropriate social behavior and healthy responses to emotions, but all are equally as uneducated in this field and cannot provide what each other need. Unfortunately, the negative socialization that takes place in the larger "school" environment is often destructive and parents must spend time retraining their children after long exposure to it. Meanness, teasing, gossip, rudeness, peer pressure and other destructive social skills contribute to negative socialization.

Is the classroom itself much better? Certainly with a qualified loving teacher one can expect more wisdom to be interjected into the socialization process. Unfortunately large class sizes and task involvement often minimize interaction in the classroom that would contribute to good socialization. Our mass education system has taken from the teacher, for many reasons, the ability to fulfill the role of a social mentor in the classroom. Discipline is often lacking and teaching social skills has taken a back seat to preparing children to score well on tests and learning academics. Children are often encouraged to solve social problems later or carry on conversations during non-teaching times. In most situations, the classroom is not the best environment for good social skills to be learned.

Leaving social training to peer groups and government institutions does not lead to the development of strong individual people able to function confidently on their own. It often leads to children who do not feel good about themselves and who are dependent upon their peers to make judgments. Furthermore, children learn quickly how to engage in manipulative techniques and play political games with each other in order to gain acceptance.

Not all children suffer in the school environment. Some do OK while others do not. The question each parent must ask is, "What is best?" Is it best to leave the training of social skills to peers or is there a better way?

A Better Model for Social Development

The best model for social development is one where children have mature role models who relate to them individually as important human beings. These role models exemplify healthy interaction with others, and give the child an opportunity to practice relating skills. Mentors can help children learn to listen attentively, articulate their thoughts and ideas confidently, and resolve conflict in a wholesome manner.

Some families aren't equipped to provide good social skills for their children. Many parents themselves have not had the models of healthy interaction and haven't learned the skills they need to solve problems or express themselves in healthy ways. These families need training themselves and as the family grows, children will be molded by the more healthy interactions.
There still are, however, a large number of families who do perform this function for children. The family and parents are the natural foundation for a child's development. By sending a child away from the family for large periods of time, it is usually quite difficult for the family to teach proper relating skills and provide the training needed.

The best model for social development is one where parents mentor their children, teaching them how to relate in healthy ways. Then, as the child is ready, and in a controlled environment, peer interaction can provide children with opportunities to work out or practice the skills they have been learning. The four-year-old can be monitored as she plays with her friends and then critiqued and coached to maturity. The ten-year-old, in dialog with Dad or Mom, can evaluate friendships and learn how to solve problems that have developed. The teenager can evaluate with his parents the interaction seen in others. Healthy boy-girl relationships can be discussed and knowing how and when to challenge authority can be taught.

Children Do Need Friends

Friendships are important. Every adult and child knows that close friendships provide a deeper level of involvement which in turn provides rewards and challenges in social development. Having a large number of friends is not a measure of a person's worth, however. In fact, most people only have the time and energy for two or three deep friendships. A few, even one or two, fairly good friends can suffice.

On the practical side, the school is not the only place children can find friends and peer group interaction. Churches and communities offer other activities, many of which, focus more on healthy social interaction than the school does. Sports, music, youth groups and service groups teach children how to be productive in relationships and to use good social interaction to be a positive influence on society. These activities may offer enough or even more than enough peer contact. Certainly children need to interact with their peers; the decision becomes how much and what kind is best.

Homeschoolers Are Often More Socially Adept

By concentrating on the importance of each child and on building self-esteem, home instruction can develop strong self-confident children. The interest shown by the parent reinforces the child's sense of security and identity. and, oddly enough, need not produce a child dependent on the family, but rather a child who is able to move with a deep sense of self-confidence into various situations - youth groups, athletics, etc.

As homeschooling becomes more popular, more and more people are seeing the social benefits of this kind of training. Home educated children are growing up as independent learners, leaders as they relate to other children, and are being seen as children who don't easily succumb to peer pressure. This has been evident in homeschool settings where families get together or children participate in group activities. These children join in the activities and interact with their peers and yet they are not overwhelmed by them. Colleges and universities now are seeking those who have been homeschooled and are even offering scholarships to them, in part because of the superior social skills these children demonstrate. Instead of becoming social misfits, as some have feared might happen, these children have become the leaders and social examples, desirable models for society in general.

Good socialization gives one the ability to relate to a variety of ages, not just one's peers. Homeschooling gives a child the opportunity to learn from the older, teach the younger, and be out in the ‘real world' each day; These children often experience hands on learning and see the good and the bad —not just read about it in a textbook. The peer contacts that homeschooled children have are fax more positive than the random associations afforded on school buses, on the playgrounds and in other typical school situations, many of which are minimally supervised, leaving children vulnerable to negative socialization.

In Conclusion

Social development is very important for children. It provides the foundation for much of who they are and what they can be as they grow up. Parents would do well to consider whether they want to entrust such an important responsibility to people they may not even know. Home-school families choose to provide their children with social development training. Many even choose to homeschool because of the social advantages their children will experience over that found in the school environment.

Socialization is no more an obstacle for homeschooling parents than it is for other parents. In fact, the parent who chooses to homeschool has a number of advantages over more traditional forms of education. As more and more homeschool children are growing up to be responsible productive adults, it's becoming increasingly clear that homeschooling has played a large role in their success. Many have a high level of satisfaction with life, are successful in their families and are a joy to be around.